What Happens One Day (Or the Next)

 Alright, I've talked about College Street and Park Street and Calcutta for a couple of days, but now it's time to explore something else. Actually, scrap that. It's time to go back to a certain topic which I hadn't done justice to.  I refer, of course, to that age-old entity which bewitches human minds and leaves them bereft of logic: daily soap operas. Of course, Marvel has the ability to do so too, but they don't let us realize that straight away. Once you mock your mother's love of Shah Rukh Khan, you realize how farcical Marvel movies are, but that's a different story altogether.  Let's see, then. First off, the premise. There is always a watered-down love story on the cards, between two people of different social classes. Either the male(or female) protagonist is obscenely rich, with a humongous mansion you can never find in the city, or absurdly poor. Well, not poor, exactly, but the members of the richer family always make it a point to tell them...

 Food, books, conversation and a place for all three at the same time. That's what any group of friends might want, or hope for. Thankfully, there are certain places in every city which provide all of the above. In Calcutta, this is found in multiple places.  College Street is one such place, but there, the food becomes secondary. Secondary is a best-case scenario, though. In very few cases can it attain the primary position. But today is not about College Street. On today's menu, we have Park Street's bones to pick clean. Not entirely, though. Once again, there's only so much that can be described. Park Street, in Calcutta, is synonymous with food. And the Christmas decorations/celebrations, but those are for the more over-enthusiastic or eager. It's nothing bad, but there's only so much of the crowd that you can enjoy. Teenage couples, or young-ish couples, love that atmosphere, but for others, there are alternatives which are equally enjoyable. Anyway, back t...

 Fate. Kismat . Destiny. Fortune. I wonder how many people believe in it. There are several things which have happened in life as part of a seemingly random choice or outcome, but have made an enormous difference. Or not. It varies from one person to another, honestly.  I was walking through book lovers' heaven again today. College Street. I had already walked past the stalls once the previous day. I was going to have to do that not once today, but twice. Imagine my plight. Rows and rows of books of every sort and I could not stop. The booksellers stood there like sirens, luring me to the rocks that were the books. I would have gladly wrecked my mom's (and my) wallet, but there was business of a different sort we had to attend to. And no, that's not a euphemism for any mafia-like activity. Once that business got over, we started back. Not by a different route, though. We had to walk back the same way as before, so that I could see the books but not stop for any of them. Fra...

 I believe there has been some misunderstanding, and we have the memers and satirists to thank for that. I'll have to come to that later, though. First, there's something else.  It's something that has been pointed out to me a million times by friends. Heck, I've always been one of the people who notice it and poke fun at people who do it. I refer, of course, to something that lovebirds consider normal and normal humans consider hilarious. Not all humans, though. Some of us just didn't grow up, so we do it much more often than others. Moreover, boys will be boys, so this usually means the majority of the male population.  The efforts. The 'cutesy' messages. Those 'awwww' moments. The human manifestation of the 😍 emoji. That shy smile which just appears whenever the lovebirds speak. Those 'looks'. I've covered most of it, but I doubt I've captured the sappiness of it all yet. I say 'sappy', those in love and some of the romant...

In an earlier post, I had said that Calcutta was like homeopathic medicine; best taken in small doses. I was given a double dose today, but I have no complaints. If anything, I'd like a refill, please. Oh, and a side of nostalgia to go with it.  Allow me to explain. Today, my mother and I went to buy some things from College Street. To a native of Calcutta, that's incredibly helpful, as College Street sells practically every last thing you could possibly need for academic purposes, or otherwise. For someone who is not familiar with Calcutta, it's time for a crash course.  If a book doesn't exist in College Street, you won't find it anywhere else. If they say that a certain edition has gone out of print, you need not search elsewhere for it. It is the  place to go to for books. I've heard people rave about the Daryaganj book market in Delhi, and a ton of other places in and around Delhi. With all due respect, I say to you: Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, Witch!...

  "When you've suffered a great deal in life, each additional pain is both unbearable and trifling."   - Yann Martel, Life of Pi .  Not a lot of people can be said to have suffered a 'great deal' in life. There's always someone who has suffered worse, and it puts things in an entirely new perspective when you realize that. But that's not exactly what I wanted to talk about.  People have different coping mechanisms, don't they? Some shut themselves in, some shut people out, some immerse themselves in their work, while some go off the handle for a certain amount of time and then resume life as before. Some like to remind themselves of the negative events so that they don't repeat the mistakes; others remember the negative events to draw power from it.  There's something people tend to overlook when they are coping with an issue. I'm referring specifically to the last type here. There is a difference between clinging on to something bad which ...

 I wonder how many people know the story of how Walt Disney met his wife. As far as I know, the story goes something like this. Walt and his brother were running the fledgling company at that point of time, and they realized that a certain employee hadn't been cashing in her paychecks. That in itself wasn't the issue, but the total amount payable because of all those stored paychecks could bankrupt the Disney brothers, if cashed in together. So off they went to solve this problem. When they met the lady concerned and told her the entire story, she was totally unfazed and proceeded to do something quite surprising. She went ahead and ripped up all those paychecks. Walt Disney, on seeing this, instantly decided that she was the woman he wanted to marry. I might have mixed up a few details, but that's the gist of it, as far I recall. It's a nice story, and quite romantic in hindsight. At that point of time, had I been in Walt Disney's shoes, I might've been worried...

 I made a mistake. No, this is not a generic, why-was-I-born mistake; I'm referring to something specific here. Yesterday, I scared a cat who was minding its own business. It probably spread along the grapevine, I suppose.  Watch out for an idiot in spectacles and bad hair . I have a bone to pick with him. No, not a fishbone. It's a figure of speech! Just watch for that human . I imagine that's how their conversations went, but I've taken enough liberties already, so that's it.  Anyway, today I had to enter a shop. It wasn't selling any food items, thankfully, or a lot of people would have gone down with diarrhoea. As I stepped inside, four heads turned to look at me. Only one of those heads belonged to a human- the pot-bellied, squinting proprietor of the shop. The remaining three heads belonged to felines, who regarded me with complete indifference. Or so it seemed.  One of them seemed particularly friendly, until I pretended to stroke him, but stopped. Then h...

 After facing mental breakdowns, probable COVID-19, fever and an injured back, I finally managed to come face-to-face with something I like today. I refer, of course, to my friends. It was the first time I was meeting them in 3 years, or probably more, so it definitely felt good. What felt better was the fact that they all seemed to be in the same boat as myself, so to speak.  I realized something important today. I am not  good at PC games like CS:GO or Valorant. I came to this conclusion after spending half an hour in the training arena of Valorant. It wasn't exactly the duration that brought me this epiphany, but the fact that I died once every minute. The difficulty level was set to easy, in case you were wondering.  People often consider cats to be the epitome of indifference, but there are some moments when they provide cinematic masterpieces. Regrettably, cameras are always in short supply during these moments. Back to cats now. I have a particular weakness fo...

 For some reason, the lyrics to The Sound of Silence  have been doing the rounds inside my head. It's funny how they managed to write an entire song on silence and the sound (or lack thereof) associated with it. Then again, some of the most significant discoveries in history have been made unintentionally, so I suppose that's a recurring feature.  Come to think of it, I've known people who have written songs on how they are unable to write songs, or played a blinder of a game when they felt nowhere near fantastic. But I digress; let's talk about something specific.  I know a lot of people who don't like history in general. There are also many people who like art history, or medieval history, or just modern history. Let's talk about that, then. History is the flavour of the day, but not for long. Thanks to COVID-19, future generations will have an entire chapter added to their history and biology books. This is one of the few instances where I'm lucky I'm...

 I rambled on about nostalgia for a while yesterday without making any actual sense. I'll try to make some sense today, but no guarantees, mind you. But nostalgia later. I made the mistake of watching India play again today, and it's another sound drubbing they are getting at the hands of the South Africans. It's not pretty.  You know what else isn't pretty? Realizing how quickly, how much the world has changed. Not just because of COVID-19, in general. Things that were the norm just a few years back (few is undefined and relative here) are now the stuff of fairytales, which the current generation dismiss as one would a mosquito. It's not fun to have to acknowledge that not only our childhoods, but also the concepts which prevailed at that time, now seem outdated. Then again, that's how the world works. There's a certain book I have loved to read, although it has been some time since I read it. I'm referring to ' Mysterious Island ' by Jules Vern...

 Well, today was a hectic day, of sorts. I found out a classmate of mine contracted COVID-19, then realized that the symptoms were exactly the same as what I had faced when I was ill. There was no loss of taste or smell, as it happens. I could smell, though I did not feel like eating. But then again, that might have been the male illness drama side acting up, so who knows? Anyway, I had to transfer quite a few pictures and voice recordings and whatnot from my phone to my laptop. No, I did not upload everything on Google Drive. Yes, I am currently surviving without Wi-fi. And yes, most of my data balance was eaten up by online class. No thanks to Microsoft Teams.  So I was transferring all these files and believe you me, there's something sentient in phones. The moment they realize we might be thinking of getting a new phone, the performance suddenly shows a marked improvement. Once it realizes that we've placed the order, the performance drops dramatically. Heroines in sappy...

 I was looking at the calendar today. 19 days of January are about to have gone by and I'm pretty much in the same scenario as I was last year. The difference is, I feel like someone else. I don't know why or how, but I just do. Somewhat like Edmond Dantes, but minus the vengeance motive, the external makeover and of course, the treasure. So basically like Bob the Titan, but with memories.  I'm not able to put a finger on the correct analogy, but I've tried to provide two examples. If it were an exam, I would've been asking the teacher for marks even though I knew I hadn't written the correct answer. At least I've written something- that has to count, right? The teacher we've all seen some time or the other : No, it doesn't. But look! There's a semi-colon and correct punctuation and everything! The teacher:  So what if it does? So doesn't that count for something? The teacher: No.  Not even one mark? Just one, please? The teacher, with that ...

 You know how there are moments when you feel like you're just wrapped in your own little cocoon? Just a single moment, sometimes, of absolute peace or tranquility. It can happen anytime, anywhere. While you're just sitting at home doing nothing, or maybe when you're out for a walk, or while just looking at a sight you've seen a million times before. In that moment, you are in your own microcosm, uninterrupted by thoughts, actions, words or plans. Just as suddenly as you enter that world, you are forced back into rude reality by something or the other.  It might be a single glimpse out of the corner of your eye, or a stray thought just passing through your mind. It could even be an old memory- happy, sad or bittersweet, doesn't matter. It just bursts your bubble and reminds you that the real world still exists out there and you still have to deal with a million other things which may or may not be in your control. There's not a lot you can do about these things;...

 I'm guessing most people have Spotify these days, right? Or iTunes or something like that. I have no clue about iTunes, but Spotify really gets my goat every single time. The instant the momentum starts to build up or the playlist gets to the good part, in comes an advertisement.  " Pyaaaari baarish ho rahi thi. Chai aur pakode bhi ready the."   I swear to God, I've forgotten about tests, groceries, appointments, but I doubt I'll ever be able to get this irritating jingle out of my head. Just get Spotify Premium . If any of you thought that, not happening. I'll spend money on music when I have to watch an opera or a live event, but not on Spotify. Doesn't matter how cheap it is, I'd rather spend that money on something else. I know I'm sounding obstinate there (or maybe not, I'm not inside your heads, unfortunately), but it's the truth. There are enough things to worry about without a Spotify Premium subscription. I'd rather listen on ...

 As the title suggests, today I'll be writing about misplaced comic genius. While it can be applied to several things (politics, media, Race 3, soap operas), I'll be referring to a specific person here. No prizes for guessing. I've mentioned one thing in earlier posts which has the ability to put me off my appetite. That time, it was Kangana Ranaut as Thalaivi. This time, it's one of the most recognizable faces in India, who pops up during, just before, or just after dinner. I refer, of course, to the inimitable, the indefatigable Arnab Goswami. Don't sue me for misrepresentation, please; I said most recognizable, not most loved.  We've all seen at least one meme video of Arnab Goswami rapping or being used as a template, but that still doesn't capture the pure comic genius he can bring to the show. Steve Carell is a good comic, but he relies on the impracticality and the irony of a situation, as well as his straight-facedness. Jim Carrey is a brilliant come...

 It's getting foggy and cold these days. There you go, everybody. I've managed to sum up every North Indian city's weather in a sentence. Jokes aside, the weather seems to be having the time of its life. Us humans, on the other hand? Not so much. Jerks are still jerks, nice people are still nice people who get ripped off, and Calcutta biriyani is still amazing. I wish there were only two truths in that sentence, but all are true. Especially number 3.  I've noticed something about food. Whenever a kind of food comes up in a conversation, people immediately insist that the version found in their hometown or at their home is the best. It becomes really personal really fast. Like momos. Or maybe golgappe , or phuchka . (I'm from Calcutta, so I'll say phuchka - no contest there) With momos, the momos themselves are important, but they're only half the story. Much like Virus and Chatur in '3 Idiots', the supporting role played by the chutney cannot be exag...

 Skeleton. I just began to wonder what the effect would have been like if Barney Stinson had chosen to say 'skeleton' for forty minutes instead of the word 'moist'. 'Interesting' just doesn't seem to be the right word for it. 'Crazy' sounds better.  Jokes aside, how many people know what the bones of a house are like? The very room you're sitting in right now, at some point of time, was nothing more than a dark grey room with rough surfaces, wires sticking out of every wall and no tiling. Just take a second and imagine your room without all the furniture, all the paint, all the appliances. Without the flooring. Seems bigger, doesn't it? The funny part is, most people don't know what their room or house will have looked like in this stage. It's not that they don't know every time; some just choose to forget it. Many people will remember what their home looked like when it underwent a renovation and it's probably very similar- a...

  You know, there’s something quite funny about people. And I mean people in general here. We act dramatically in commonplace scenarios just to bring in a comic element- some people laugh with us, some laugh at us. Yet, when there is actually a need for drama, we give woefully inadequate responses. I don’t mean tragic events here. Any event where drama can actually be used won’t have drama in it, while we’ll continuously try to stuff drama into something which doesn’t actually need it. It’s when the two events- drama stuffing and situational requirement- occur together that something great is observed, if only for a moment. I’ve got drama on the brain today, and it’s all because of one thing. There was some work which needed to be done online today, and as luck would have it, meetings were involved. Drama came into the picture when one person in the meeting chose to invoke the name of the one, the only, the inimitable, the terrible, the catastrophic Bard. I mean Shakespeare he...

 The weather's getting crazy nowadays. Not just in Calcutta- it seems like everywhere you go, the weather is either colder than normal or freakier than normal. And it is not  fun. Hot days and then surprisingly chilly evenings? Since when did Calcutta subscribe to this? While Calcutta is going through a temperamental temperature fluctuation, North India is about to enter an ice age, it would seem. Most hill stations have already reported the first snowfall of the season and there are bound to be many more. It's cold enough to make your fingers swell to twice their normal size and lose all sensation of touch. Now that  is scary, but only if you're not a tourist. I'll tell you why. When someone goes to a hill station, it's not for too long a time. It's usually during a long weekend, or maybe for a couple of days at best. While the tourists are there, they don't have to cook for themselves or do any routine housework. Consequently, their fingers remain rosy, m...

 I love fevers. Only as long as they're the names of FM radio stations or sales on Amazon, Flipkart, Snapdeal or Ajio. Or any other shopping website, I don't know too many. Fevers ought to occur only on these websites and not with humans- it's just unfair.  We always keep going on about how the human body is amazing and has evolved beautifully so it has indicators for a variety of scenarios and so on, but think about it for a moment. If the human body had to give an indicator of infection, couldn't it have chosen something (anything?!) other than an increase in body temperature? And I mean anything . Just think about it and let the idea sit in your mind. Instead of a fever, imagine growing longer nails if you've got an infection. Or even better, your nails change colour if you're sick. And I don't mean a colour change like a pink or red, oh no. I mean green or blue or violet or white or neon shades- all of it based on your ancestry. That would've been f...

 The West Bengal government badly needs graphic designers. I don't know how there is a shortage of this particular species, but what I do  know is that there's a pretty acute shortage. Either designers are in short supply, or common sense is. Neither option sounds particularly flattering.  There's a reason why I'm saying this, and it's valid. I was travelling by bus and all along the side of the road there were posters. Big ones, too. The first line, near the top of the poster, read: "Our Pride". I'm translating this from Bengali, in case you were wondering.  Next, there was a pretty big picture of Mamata Banerjee. This should come as no surprise, given the number of billboards her visage is already on. Calcutta exhibits something interesting which I haven't seen in too many cities: there are more billboards with the Chief Minister's face on it than there are of products, actors or companies.  Either way, first line: "Our Pride." Sec...