Menus And Whatnot

 Food, books, conversation and a place for all three at the same time. That's what any group of friends might want, or hope for. Thankfully, there are certain places in every city which provide all of the above. In Calcutta, this is found in multiple places. 

College Street is one such place, but there, the food becomes secondary. Secondary is a best-case scenario, though. In very few cases can it attain the primary position. But today is not about College Street. On today's menu, we have Park Street's bones to pick clean. Not entirely, though. Once again, there's only so much that can be described.

Park Street, in Calcutta, is synonymous with food. And the Christmas decorations/celebrations, but those are for the more over-enthusiastic or eager. It's nothing bad, but there's only so much of the crowd that you can enjoy. Teenage couples, or young-ish couples, love that atmosphere, but for others, there are alternatives which are equally enjoyable.

Anyway, back to the food. On either side of the road, you have restaurants. And not just any old run-of-the-mill restaurants, oh no. If you come in from Esplanade via Jawaharlal Nehru Road, then you come across Trincas on the left, a couple of mobile shops and a Mumuso outlet, Moulin Rouge, Flurys, Bar-B-Q and an Oxford bookstore. Like I said, food and books-you get both. 

If you choose to turn right after going down the length of the road, you reach Peter Cat. On the left, you reach Mocambo(this one doesn't need Anil Kapoor to alter his mood) and Tung Fong a little further. There are several names I'm not mentioning here, but that's only because there are too many. Blame the restaurateurs, not me. 

Unlike many restaurants, there is absolutely no guarantee that there will be a seat for you once you arrive. Sometimes you have to wait for an hour to get in, and sometimes you're lucky and you manage to get inside within five minutes. It's not a place for the faint-hearted, let me tell you. 

Once you're told to wait, you stand outside the restaurant, waiting for those inside to stop gabbing and finish eating. Once you realize that it'll be a while yet, you let your eye wander. That is when you notice that there are books being sold on the pavement, not in huge quantities, but being sold nonetheless. Now you have a problem; do you wait for the maître d' to tell who gets in or do you check the books out?

While you grapple with this conundrum, the maître d' calls you and lets you know that there is now adequate seating for your party. You troop inside, ready to have a good time. Once you're seated, you face a new problem. Most of your topics of conversation have already been used up in the wait outside. What do you talk about now?

While you rack your brain, the waiter appears with the menus. Now the waiters belong to a different breed altogether. Always unruffled, calm and capable, it's difficult to not picture them playing Jeeves to an Indian Bertie Wooster. They manage to be polite, critical and diplomatic at the same time. You don't get to see them around too often. 

Often, the waiter is overly subservient, talkative and only too eager to be of service. Or the opposite: uninterested, sad and extremely critical. These waiters are different; they give recommendations, correct your opinions, all while letting you think that it was your choice in the first place. It's lovely to see them in action.

There's something quite funny about the menus of these restaurants. They will have several items with outrageously outlandish names, but with such beautiful descriptions that you can't help but like them. The grammar is spot-on, but there is just that little bit of old-world English or a minuscule error which makes it seem more likeable. I've always thought that English teachers take inspiration from these menus while they look for words to give in spelling bees. In case that's true, I've been half a step ahead  in the food category.

One of the restaurants has the Chinese zodiac printed on the placemats, with the years as well. I always loved reading that. Regrettably, not once did the placemats tell us that 2020 was going to be the year of the bat. Come to think of it, they always updated the years, but not once did they include 2020. Or perhaps they did, and I've forgotten. Your guess is as good as mine.

All in all, it is these restaurants that make Park Street Park Street. The historical significance is there, but it's because of these restaurants that they remain alive. It's a lovely place to spend time in, provided you have the inclination for it. Much of Calcutta's like that, come to think of it. Thanks to COVID-19, there are fewer people out and about these days, which is sad, but necessary. There's a lot more I would've said, but this is as far as I'm willing to test your patience for today. Adios!