Bullseye

 The weather's getting crazy nowadays. Not just in Calcutta- it seems like everywhere you go, the weather is either colder than normal or freakier than normal. And it is not fun. Hot days and then surprisingly chilly evenings? Since when did Calcutta subscribe to this?

While Calcutta is going through a temperamental temperature fluctuation, North India is about to enter an ice age, it would seem. Most hill stations have already reported the first snowfall of the season and there are bound to be many more. It's cold enough to make your fingers swell to twice their normal size and lose all sensation of touch. Now that is scary, but only if you're not a tourist. I'll tell you why.

When someone goes to a hill station, it's not for too long a time. It's usually during a long weekend, or maybe for a couple of days at best. While the tourists are there, they don't have to cook for themselves or do any routine housework. Consequently, their fingers remain rosy, moisturized and manicured. 

For people who live there, it's an entirely different story. Doesn't matter if you're a labourer or a CEO; if you're off-guard for even a moment, your fingers will swell and make you cry. It's tough, but there's a kind of beauty in mountains you just can't find elsewhere. It always makes you yearn for it. It may not be as volatile and openly dangerous as the sea, but don't let that fool you. The mountains are dangerous too, but the views somehow make you forget that. 

Where was I? Oh, yes- tourists. Depredation is the most suitable word for what they do when they visit hill stations. On top of that, the amount of plastic they throw down the hillsides is enough to provide each of them with new noses. There are funny things too, but more of that in a while. 

It's really funny how people from certain states (read: Haryana, Delhi, UP) don't know how wide a road really is. Give them a six-lane expressway and they will still drive on the wrong side and almost ram into someone. All because they don't have the guts to drive in hilly areas. I know because I've had to avoid these idiots for a few years now, and it is so, so tempting to tease the life out of them. I don't do that, though. Not least because they weigh more than I do, although that's a big reason.

There will, however, always be one specific specimen that is always seen in hill stations. Doesn't matter which hill station, they will be there. I refer, of course, to newlyweds. The newly married Mr. Hero is always flashing a 10-gigawatt-smile, while his not-so-shy bride is almost always dressed in jeans, bangles, super-high heels, tons of makeup and a dress which is 2 sizes too small for her. 

The reason why I'm describing the missus more is simple: they're the same, but different. The husbands all look the same after a point. Stubble: check. Big arms: check. Ray-Bans: check. Humongous watch which no pickpocket can carry off: check. The wives, however, vary in the choice of dress, heel height, lipstick shade, hair streak colour and in the level of giggliness. You can guess which target has a bigger bullseye painted on it. 

Anyways, speaking of a bullseye, I need to get myself some shut-eye. It's been a long day and a pretty hot one. Stay safe, everyone. Adios!