When Shakespeare Made Me Write

 You know, there’s something quite funny about people. And I mean people in general here. We act dramatically in commonplace scenarios just to bring in a comic element- some people laugh with us, some laugh at us. Yet, when there is actually a need for drama, we give woefully inadequate responses.

I don’t mean tragic events here. Any event where drama can actually be used won’t have drama in it, while we’ll continuously try to stuff drama into something which doesn’t actually need it. It’s when the two events- drama stuffing and situational requirement- occur together that something great is observed, if only for a moment. I’ve got drama on the brain today, and it’s all because of one thing.

There was some work which needed to be done online today, and as luck would have it, meetings were involved. Drama came into the picture when one person in the meeting chose to invoke the name of the one, the only, the inimitable, the terrible, the catastrophic Bard. I mean Shakespeare here, not the character from “The Hobbit”.

However, Shakespeare was not how it was said. We listened to a person talk about the poems and the skills of Sekspeare for well over a minute. There are two things I feel I need to clarify here: Firstly, the video was on, so no one could smile outright. Secondly, I’m not making fun of someone because the pronunciation was wrong. It was the po-facedness of every member of that meeting that drove me crazy.

I’ve had to stifle laughs in difficult situations before. Some notable examples are as follows. In Class 12, the entire hockey team was made to line up and given a lecture by our erstwhile Headmaster on why Hindi should not be heard on the team bus. He chose to give examples of Hindi phrases which were considered unacceptable while 18 boys below 18 stood together. If you don’t see the problem there, I’ll tell you what it is.

There will always, always, be one idiot standing at one end of the line who will laugh at the silliest and smallest things, even if it’s just a monkey staring at the Headmaster’s backside. One snort, one giggle, one tug at the corner of the mouth, and before you know it, the entire line will be smiling like idiots and laughing themselves into another detention.

Another example is when our teacher (again, in Class 12) mispronounced a certain word in anger. Forget what the original word was, the word we heard was “juice-pour”. Biology students will have a better idea what the original word was. There were 9 students in the class and only 3 boys. So naturally, we three were always under the scanner. So naturally, we laughed at the most inappropriate moments. What else would you have us do?

The best source of drama is something I haven’t even touched upon yet. There’s so much to say that I’m afraid most of it will have to be said in a future blog. I refer, of course, to soap operas. Pseudonyms include: serials, daily soaps, the reason why many IPL and international matches of football or cricket are not seen live.

Music. Lighting. Camera work. Stage set-up. Entries and exits. Editing. Every single one of these elements is responsible for increasing the drama of a serial. I haven’t even come to the plot, acting or the direction. The same people will be shown, one after the other, in different orders.

Now that’s how you use permutations and combinations. We were taught nothing in school, it would seem. Except what happens when you laugh in the Headmaster’s face while punished. Or when he misquotes a dialogue from “Madagascar” and you correct him to his face, causing a riot of laughter.
(Sir: “What’s wrong with you all? Do you want to sing ‘I like to shake it, shake it’ like King Julien?”
One of us: “Move it, move it, Sir.”
Deathly silence. Humongous smiles.)

Well, that’s it for today. Stay safe, everyone, and watch before you laugh. Adios!