The Week That Wasn't (If only that were true)

 This is my first attempt at blogging. I've tried writing stories, but somehow, I haven't been able to get a move on. Why today, all of a sudden? Well, the title ought to give you some idea. The past week was NOT a good one, but it's done, for now. That's the only good thing about it, I suppose. My exams are about to get over, but that's not on my mind at all. You see, something happened today that made me write. 

A tree was cut down today. And yes, there are millions of trees being cut down all over the world, but why don't they matter, blah-blah-blah. Please dispense with that environmental crap. Caring about the environment isn't crap, not in any world, but bringing it into every single conversation is stupid. It's like trying to stuff a bull into every little rabbit hole you see. It's possible, but neither the bull nor the burrow like it or benefit from it. So yeah, a tree was cut down today. I should mention, I live in a hill station. There's a tree in front of our apartment block. It's dead, but it's always been there. Just a big, barren tree. There's moss and lichen all along the trunk, but by and large there is no sign of life. No leaves. No birds. I mean, birds do perch on it and squirrels sun themselves on it, but no animal lives there. 

It's in monsoon that the tree looks best. The patches of lichen or moss turn green, and that's what makes it beautiful. There's no one fixed shade of green, so there are a bunch of different patches on the tree's trunk, like a patchwork quilt. It's beautiful to look at, while it lasts. So this tree was cut down. First, they attached a rope to the topmost branch and then made sure the tree wouldn't flail about or fall someplace else. Sort of like a noose, you know? Then they began to cut it, and that took a good 45 minutes. 

I don't know why it upset me so much. Maybe because it was a constant? I love stability, but I abhor stagnation. Doesn't matter what it is, I try to make sure there isn't any stagnation in anything I do or enjoy. The tree has been in front of my window ever since I moved into this apartment. I've woken up every day and looked outside and it's been there. Torrential rain, icy cold sun, snow, or just plain clear skies- the tree was always there. Now it's gone. I noticed it while it was there, but I think I'll appreciate it now that it's gone. It's that way with most things, isn't it?

Like with someone I knew until this week. I've never met him personally, but I've talked to him a couple of times. You know how there are some people you know are trustworthy or just plain and simple good when you talk to them? He was one of those. He was my uncle's friend, but you would've thought he was my uncle, the care and concern he showed. And the thing is, he didn't fake it. You can always tell when you're trying someone's patience or over-stepping your hospitality, but he never let it seem so. 

Now why did I say I knew him? Those of you that might have noticed this will know what I'm talking about. He died last week. Of all days, on the night of Christmas Eve. Practically on the 25th. I'd talked to him the week before, so I couldn't believe the news at first. It took a while to sink in, but sink in it did. It's terrible, you know? How people just go all of a sudden. When there are a million variables that never changed or aligned until that specific moment, but align they did. And they aligned so that the person died. I won't say it's unfair to the person; not just because it's a cliche, but because it's more unfair to others than it is to the person itself. If I were to die suddenly, what would happen? Nothing would change in the world. Nobody would know or care, except my family and a few friends, if they did find out. How would they go about their lives? They would, of course, but not without being reminded of an absence, right? 

This concept has always fascinated me. What the world would be like, or how the lives of others would have been, if a certain person had never been born. Or, to make it more interesting, what would have been the world or people's lives been like if I had died at a certain point in my life before my actual death? What would've changed? Of course, this is something that many movies and sci-fi writers have explored time and time again, but that's the beauty of it; nobody knows. Therefore, it doesn't matter what might have happened, what matters is what did happen. And out of that, how someone chose to act. What that person decided to do. That's what matters. 

Like when a very close friend of mine just chose to block me on social media. There was no clear reason why. Just that there was something wrong. It made me concerned. When I tried to make it known that I was worried, I got blocked. Of course, the friend in question then proceeded to go out with other people and have a great time. I was relieved, there's no doubt. I was also scared now. I was mortified. What was going on? Was I just another extra who had been duped into thinking he was getting a speaking part? Or was I really someone with a speaking part, just not for now? I didn't know a week ago and I still don't. It hurts a lot when someone takes what you have to offer, but then starts to feel guilty about it, which in turn makes them get rid of all contact with you. Your mistake here being that you cared. 

Everyone needs time to sort things out. To get their mental peace. To calm down, or even just give themselves space. And it's one of the best things that a person can do: to get their act in place. What's not right is intentionally robbing someone else's mental sanity while doing that. It's not that my friend didn't know I would be driven out of my mind with worry, or be afraid that they were going to cut me off for a long time, if not forever. My friend knew that, but still chose to do this. Does that still make them my friend? I don't know. 

All I know is that 2021, by and large, was a secure, perfectly advertised, somewhat risky, roller-coaster. Given the fact that it came after 2020, it was implied that this year wouldn't be easy. What I did not expect was for the last 2 weeks of 2021 to be a rollercoaster whose last 2 metres had had all the screws taken out; all the seatbelts removed without any kind of notice. It was a shock, that's for sure. It's been a thrill, but it seems that 2021 is going to end with a rush, the likes of which I hadn't packed for. 

I'm going to see it through to the end, though. What else do I have to do now that the year's ending? Wait. Yeah, I've got an exam. It couldn't be worse than the past week I've had, though. Could it? Only time will tell. Until next time. Adios! 
*Just saying, did you know that 'Adios' actually means 'God be with you', even though it is more commonly used as a generic farewell?*